R Kelly: The Socratic Dialogues (Part I)

I finally begin to present my work that I've spent some time on during spare time and time where I didn't feel like paying attention to whatever was going on. R. Kelly: The Socratic Dialogues shows you the arguments that underlie his most cherished work, "Igntion (Remix)" It will be broken up in five installments, and so I begin with Chapter 1.


Chapter I: R. Kelly Breaks it Off

R Kelly: At the present, it would be prudent to say that I am not usually inclined to do what I am about to do.

Philistine: What is it that you plan to do?

R.K: I intend to branch from our current round of discourse, to give a rough sketch of The Remix.

Phil: A preview?

R.K: Precisely.

Phil: From which discourse are we departing?

R.K: I mean for us to "break it off" without loss of generality. Does this scenario not apply to all modes of exchange?

Phil: It does.

R.K: Excellent, we may amend then that at the prsent I imply no impoliteness

Phil: Then explain your actions, please

R.K: However, it would suffice to say that by way of narration, I am kinesthetically engaged with my implied audience

Phil: So you are "feeling" her?

R.K: That would be the best way to phrase it.

Phil: Your intention nonetheless seems impolite, if not vulgar in its mysogyny.

R.K: We must state two caveats then: 1) This dialogue may be deemd age appropriate in its implied setting [See The Tapes] 2) I merit the implied reader on her actions

Phil: Ah, so it's what she does!

R.K: No, it is the way in which she does the things she does.

Phil; Okay, but of what merit is this?

R.K: May we not say that a verb is a means to an end? ... Then should we imagine a mode of transportation as a distinct action ... the way in which we carry out these actions defines quality ... I associate her with my Lexus Coupe.

Phil: I do not follow. Why does this illuminate?

R.K: Because, this is the exact reason I am all up in her grill!

Phil: But are you not also trying to persuade her into going to a hotel?

R.K: As these are equivalent statements, your question is true but irrelevant. So, what may we conclude if she has me playing the field in this manner?

Phil: What conclusion do we come to, great R. Kelly?

R.K: She must by definition be a football coach.

Phil: Astounding!

...

R.K: I assume that you possess some quantity of *toot-toot*

Implied Listener: I do

R.K: If I were to request some amount of this quantity... I would name a fair price.

I.L: What price do you offer?

R.K: It would be logical that you accept my offer of a presumably equivalent amount of *beep-beep*

I.L: Indeed, this would be an appropriate price.

...

R.K: Currently, we may state that she is running her hands through my 'fro and simultaneously experiencing periodic spurts of energy.

Phil: Yes, but of what nature are these spurts?

R.K: Excellent question. We may call this 'bouncing' (see R. Kelly's "I Believe I Can Fly: Collected Metaphysics.")

Phil: But what it is that she is bouncing on?

R.K: I may discern through formal mathematics that we may approximate this quantity to approximately twenty four ounces of ale.

Phil: I do not follow.

R.K. This is why I asked you "are you ready"!



I would have embedded the Ignition-Remix video, but youtube disabled embedding it by R. Kelly's request. Go youtube it and start studying the text.


Next Chapter: "It's the Freakin' Weekend!"